Memoirs of a Geisha Review

Memoirs of a Geisha is a classic movie derived from the Arthur Golden book. Frankly, it is closely related to the book, although I haven't read it in a few years. However, if you never read the book, or if you have, Memoirs of a Geisha is that witty drama about one young girls story of becoming a full-fledged geisha.

Cast: This is an All-star Asian line-up. The problem is that, by movie purists, Chinese and Vietnamese should never be featured in the movie. A couple of the main characters, are distinctly Chinese, such as Michele Yeoh (Hong Kong) and Ziyi Zhang (People's Republic). There performance removes this gap. They effectively play the role of mother/daughter geisha. Ken Watanabe is as excellent as usual.

Movie Structure: There is a strong movie structure, as it uses a basic, classical formula. They don't make you forget too much, as they go back and forth with flashbacks, but not to be overdone. Throughout the movie, there's the effect that you sympathize with Sayuri (Zhang). You can also see the desire between the Chairman (Watanabe) and Sayuri, and a developing story of romance throughout the story. It is quipped with maxims and morals throughout the story, well supported.

The end, however, feels rather expected.

Direction: This is a Rob Marshall movie, produced by Steven Speilberg. It has a Speilberg type buzz, and it will win quite a few Emmy's. So far, it has been one of the best written dramas in the movies this year. The problem is that it had an American feel throughout the story, and not how Asian direction influences their movies. This may be because of how important movies try to rake in the big dollars.

The Good: Excellent direction, excellent portrayal of story, direction. Well executed. Strong acting, strong design. All the perfect elements for a great movie/classic.

The Bad: All-types of Asian cast that removes the specificity of where Geisha's come from. It is quite long for most common movies 2 hours 24 minutes (although, it doesn't feel like it).

Overall: A well done movie. I would rate it 5 stars, but American's will be disappointed becasue there's no prostitution and sex; and it's too long for the standard 100 minute movie. Asians will be disappointed because of the feel of the movie. Removing these two stereotypes, I enjoyed this movie for its content, its acting, its story, and its overall direction and elements in the movie. I rate it a 4.5 of 5. However, and sadly, most people will think of this movie as nice, but rather average.

Yule Time Spiel

I write now, being about 7.5 hours before Christmas begins. You know that whole spiel, of Christmas night, not a mouse trolling...blah, blah, blah. So, yeah. I don't know what to say.

So, I currently see my bank account in the red. Yikes! Need one of them jobs.

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A Project DCK Christmas Special

"A Very Klunk Christmas" provided by Project DCK. An ironic, vulgarized version of Christmas spirit...or the lack thereof. A must watch, if you don't really care about the Christmas Scrooge. Have a happy and safe Holiday!








http://www.projectdck.com - ProjectDCK©2005. All Rights Reserved

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Tomorrow, it's visiting my grandma and uncles for Christmas dinner.

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Conversations
(02:09:49) Me: just irony
(02:09:54) Norm: cause by saying he won u mean he has the worst eyebrows
(02:10:09) Me: well, may be
(02:10:21) Me: but he's got a girl, and u got ur hand
(02:10:31) Leah-munchkin: oooooooooh
(02:10:36) Norm: BURN
(02:10:40) Leah-munchkin: low blow
(02:10:41) Me: **Cues Final Fantasy VII victory music**
(02:10:47) Me: Norman: Pride -2
(02:10:52) Leah-munchkin: lmao
(02:10:53) Norm: hell, my hand isn't even talking to me anymore
(02:11:00) Leah-munchkin: wow....
(02:11:09) Leah-munchkin: dunno what to say about that one.....
(02:11:12) Me: **Cues Final Fantasy VII victory music**
(02:11:21) Me: Norman: Pride -2
(02:11:25) Norm: -3
(02:11:28) Norm: u jerk
(02:11:32) Me: rofl
(02:11:37) Leah-munchkin: lmao
(02:11:58) Leah-munchkin: didn't i get u twice tonight akil?
(02:12:08) Norm: haha, akil -2
(02:12:20) Me: hey, where's my victory music
(02:12:22) Me: damn
(02:12:25) Norm: **Cues Final Fantasy VII victory music**
(02:12:25) Me: ..
(02:12:35) Norm: sorry, I'm lagging
(02:12:38) Me: ::does dance::

Union 100 - STRIKE THREE! Yer Out!

So, this is what I have doing in the next couple of weeks:

• Finish Christmas shopping...(it's not much and doesn't include me)
• Communications Paper titled: Humorists For Action due Tuesday.
• Organizational Behavior Final on Wednesday, 9AM
  
• Communications Final on Thursday, 9AM
• Final Presentation: Quest-Tech Strike Zone Proposal 9AM
• Final for Comparative Psych sometime during the last week of finals
• Final for Management sometime during the last week of finals
• Social Psychology paper due..
• Research topics from Jim Lewis due...

---

I have an interview with Nina Weber of Career Services tomorrow.  I have a feeling that I'm going to be placed on PolyTRAK, which means a couple of good things may happen.  Henceforth, I can be getting some access to more job resources.

I still have a few things to do before I can be considered done with Poly (see above).  I do have until January 15 to complete all my coursework and get my grades in.

---

Went Christmas shopping for today with Leah.  This is what I bought:

• Rio 512 Flash MP3 Player w/ FM Tuner ($116.95)
  
• Multi-Stripe Tie (2) From SEARS ($38.47)
  

Will be doing a couple of more gifting creations in the next day or two.

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The Subway Strike

On contrary opinion to those who believe in the ability to gain status, I think these people are idiotic for calling a strike.  This is not about the Taylor law, or about this being done during Christmas season--it's about shutting down a system which will cause many people to be stranded for dead.  Yes, I said, dead.  A subway strike will cripple the system.  It will make neighborhoods who have no supplies have to depend on community contributions.  It better cause an upheval in modern society.

No offense, the reason why you have a City job is because you decided to take the job or you decided that you did not want or have the educational skills to pride on doing something beter.  No offense, but what you guys do is a City job, first and foremost dependent for the city.  It is not about rights, or the fact the majority of the MTA union workers who will be striking or forced to strike are minorities; especially a large contingent, African American.  Friday morning while listening to the NY-1, the first thing the union cries is the race card.   Initially wanting a 15 percent-per-year raise, you cry the race card because they do not want to hear your demands.

This is a reminder that weeks before, the reason why you call for a strike is because that you felt the Transit workers were underappreciated and underpaid because of the raise freeze three years ago.  So you decide to take vengence, Mr. Toussaint, by asking for an outrageous raise increase and demands that will never get you anywhere.  Now, you and the MTA are at an impasse, because you want to be "a radical."

Look, I'm for climbing up the economic ladder, but climbing the economic ladder by these terms is ludacris.  Transit workers were never middle class.  If you ever remember, The Honeymooners, Ralph Kramden was a fat, slob, living in a poorly revitalized tenemant in Bensonhurst.  Mr. Kramden was a portrayed Jew, but lived in a place where crime was rampant, the mob was prevalent, and made little money from the MTA of the 40s.

It's now 2005.  Economic status hasn't changed, nor has Ralph Kramden.

I'm not saying, that Transit Workers do not deserve raises, or do not deserve to live comfortably.  However, I am saying that they are working Civil service jobs, who are doing this more to serve a purpose for the public, rather than their private interests.  Matter in fact, the MTA is a public job; with a privatized institution to obtain rights and privilages.  Many of the train operators went to local engineering high school's such as Transit Tech and Brooklyn Automotive to learn how to work and run automotion.  Transportation is a vital need, not your wallets.  Here is what I think you should get:

• A three-percent raise per year for three years.  Not the eight-percent per year that you are currently proposing to the MTA right now.
• Full Health care benefits and a 401K.  Not including dental.  Dental can be added only if subsidized by limiting a raise by a percent per additional perk.
• Increased retirement age to 62 for those who enter under the new contract.  Pensions are more expensive and more people are on it.  A retirement age of 55 is too young.  Many people cannot even get partial benefits at 55, and only get partial benefits from their job at 62.  In addition, nobody should be forced to retire, and work beyond the minimum retirement age is encouraged and working for the MTA should be encouraged.
• An MTA promise to do the following:
• Hire thousands of new employees to clean trains, police the system and new motormen to increase the number of trains in the system.
• An ability to push the level of pay for transit workers towards the middle class number, but not to exceed, on the ideal that they receive benefits sufficient to the current MTA contract.
• Not raise transit fares.

One person said on Friday, that the reason why they do this is not necessarily on the transit workers, but it's on the straphangers.  Moreorless, we are stuck in a quandry.  We are going to see another increase in the fare.  It is inevitable.  Especially if the MTA gets more to their liking, we can see fares jump another 50% just based on the lack of money that executives receive.  It's not about the people.  It's about the wallets.

The MTA was never about their slogan "going your way."  They aren't their slogan, "Thank you for riding with New York City transit."  Only the transit workers are, because they work hard to try to get us to our destinations on-time.  They have a responsibility to society, but they don't have a responsibility to our wallets.  Nor do the system.  Nevertheless, whatever happens, the struggle between the classes will continue due to the gluttony and greed.  Many Northern Queens riders and Queens-Long Island people who only have the MTA to depend on will suffer.  Those who live in neighborhoods who have to walk miles to see a grocery store will starve.  Not many will die, but many will remember.  ...only if this happens.

My name is not Aaron McGrudder.  I'm just some guy who's pissed off when people forget about responsibility.  That's the problem of this society.

Christmas Time'ish

This year seems to be a low festive feel, because I used to see the sweaters, the high-sales promotions, the decor that considers now festive. It just feels like people want shit, and greatful of what others do for them. To quote a close friend, "What does this do for me? It doesn't do anything for me. It's all for you, but you have to help, unless I cannot give you anything."

I'm not the person who asks for World Peace to become reality. Honestly, I'll take a world of gore and violence everyday rather than a perfect, honky-dory world. But if there is no volition to the things you want, then where's the need; "Where is the Love?"

?

(2003, Black Eyed Peas Where is the Love?)

There is this predicament that we all face, but more importantly, what is left to go on?

Or am I trippin' because I'm consumed with my thoughts? Who knows. Below is Five Gifts I Would Like to Have But Can't Afford: (no particular order or preference):

1. Dell DJ 30 with Dell DJ dock and Inline FM Tuner/Remote Control. Honestly, I don't know why I want 30 Gigs of space for music; however, space is a premium. With Shipping & Handling, it's paying $400 for, sans the $50 mail-in rebate. It's considered by CNET as one that has the no frills of the iRiver H320 or the Creative Zen Touch at a cheaper price. Click Here to read cnet.com 's article.
   What it will do for me? Get me listening to music, kept all in one place.
2. Dell XPS m170 (suped-up). Runs for about $3800. Premium gaming laptop, with the laptop life. I can live with the anti-glare technology, although many complain that it distorts the screen, and causes white backgrounds to be incredibly sparkly. I don't need a lot of hard drive space, but 60-80gig HD will suffice. This should get me safely feeling comfortable about rejoining the gaming circuit, which I definitely can not run with an IBM T22 P3-900mHz.
   What will it do for me? A nice way of getting back into gaming, and easily can use as a work laptop. Click here to see the review.
   
3. 2006 MLB All-Star Game Priemere Package. $2800 (not including meals, and transportation for two people). The 2006 All-Star Game is being held at PNC Park, home of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Going to the All-Star Game and it's festivities has been a long dream of mine. I want to be there the day before, get situated and everything, and leave the day after, when everything calms down, and not worry about leaving with a ton of luggage. Flying would be nice, but if I have to take Amtrak or Greyhound, as long as I have a Dell DJ 30, I'm well prepared for that trip.
   What does it do for me? Allows me to go see my favorite baseball players play in a classic, enjoy the festivities and meet and greet with stars of the game. May be even do a little job promotion for myself. Click here to see the package.
4. Sharp LC-26DA5U. It is a LCD Television, 26" that uses both 4:3 and 16:9 (widescreen) displays. It can connect to a laptop or PC using a S-Video cable, and is HDTV ready. Cost: around $1190.
   What does it do for me? Allows me to watch TV without being bothered by others. Good for substitute large screen for gaming. Decent home-entertainment for my small bedroom.
5. May 21, 2006 - Inner Loge Seats: Mets vs. Yankees at Shea Stadium. Granted, I know tickets can go for $60.00 per seat, but I would like to get an entire group to go...like 16 or so. Granted, I know the Subway Series happens every year, but to be there as to start a Baseball City Road Trip would be awesome. Total Cost of Road Trip and expenses: over $5000.
   What does it do for me? Not only I live to see the Mets vs. Yankees in person, it begins a road trip, which requires planning and AmTrak tickets.
   
   

   There's a lot of other things, I would like as well, for instance, a 5-7.1 Megapixel Digital Camera, but I need to temper my expectations. I should be glad of having a woman, a degree, a life and looking for a job.

There's a lot of other things, I would like as well, for instance, a 5-7.1 Megapixel Digital Camera, but I need to temper my expectations. I should be glad of having a gf, a degree, a life and looking for a job.

When Everything Is Made to Be Broken

Jashira, I so spared you the camera today. I had a last minute decision to leave it at home, because I did not want to carry it in my jacket. So beware! Hahaha!

By the way, most importantly, Happy Birthday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I need to make myself less involved. Like seriously.

At the Athletics Office, I (may I repeat), I and not the gym manager or anyone else called for a meeting today. I really do not know if it is going to work out or create an everlasting effect, but I'm worried about this. I had to change the time of the meeting to accomodate. I am always accomodating to everyone else, and it leaves me no time for myself. It leaves me making excuses to forget important things (like picture taking on friends birthdays) and makes myself feel less important about me, because I'm trying to bring everyone else up to a new level (or at least show them the light).

It's hard to just turn people off at times. I say no, because I was taught to say no when you are not available. Honestly, I do not like being bored, and this is what I fear; boredom. Part of me wishes I was gym manager; meanwhile, part of me wants to enjoy being a college senior. I want to start planning out my future, be able to start saving for my own city loft, get that first job, which segways to the dream job. I feel like I have done everything I can with Athletics and the reason why I'm still there is that I'm trying to create some way of seeing another venue; find another spark of interest.

But, I also miss going to Anime Society; chilling, watching anime, and being a kid. I miss all these Student Council meetings, chilling in the Commons with friends and even occasionally going to the library and study, while listening to songs off the radio on WinAMP, or Y! Music. I miss taking naps. I miss going to the gym and playing basketball, even if it is just one game, I miss the comradery with the community on that level. Yesterday, I ran into Ralph, and he put it best, "Do you ever play basketball anymore?"

"Hey, today was the first time I worked out in the gym in over 2 months." The last time was when I did a plyometric workout with Alastair during the summer.

I miss being a student. I feel like that with my status and seniority, that I am more of an employee of debt to the Polytechnique, rather than paying my debt to Polytechnic University. I'm losing the scope of the University; an universe surrounding a broadened body of sea with a floatilla of life and vegetation of knowledge and opportunities.

It fell into home and love life. More-or-less, I felt that since school started, I really became bored with life, because I was being rid of every opportunity to enjoy it to help others accomplish their goals. They get there because I help; then I help myself to try to muster what's left. It left me more tired, physically worn than anything else. I still got it yesterday, when after work, on the 2 train, I fell asleep in Munchkin's lap. -_- >zzzz

So, I know I need to make some changes. May be tomorrow's meeting, pending if there is a big turnout, pulls a big morale with the employees; gives them motivation to want to succeed as workers, and I don't have to deal with myself entrenched in a downward spiral. I want the workers to help feel responsible for themselves so that not only they do not become like me when entrenched in the position I'm currently in now, but employee them for the opportunitees to succeed and grow as Athletic Dept. workers.

May be I will get the chance to grow to; be a better manager and be able to manage my time better. Like take pictures of Jashira, Julie, and Leah.

To quote the Goo Goo Dolls "Iris":

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Ciao.

'Boy I hate K-Mart

"The Can't Stand Back-2-School Story"

School is starting on Thursday, which means that I have 3 days of resentment, work and utter annoyance. This entry I entitle: "Can't Stand Back 2 School."

There are many reasons why someone hates going to school; however, it is not until now that I have completely understand in this resentment. Not because I go to Poly, which in my first two years considered it as an All-Male revue. I think I would have this total resentment if I went to Weseleyan or any school that you would associate with Girls Gone Wild. They make this season of the year like the biggest thing since sliced bread. And there's no escape.

For instance, there are no real holidays that prevent one from hearing Back-2-School. They start this in early July now. Granted I know some schools start early August or late July; however, they publicize this season so far in advance for the majority of the country, whose education begins at the end of August or early September. The worst part is that, along with this, the sales are ludacris. I could point out instances were they were putting clothes and books on sale, while they were at it's regular price. $29.99 jeans, where two weeks prior it was, $29.99! Back-2-School is more of a holiday ploy, which sadly does not involve the Greeting Card companies.

Back-2-School captures how much one regrets going back to classes. For I, and probably 30% of people who attend any college, they are doing something that they like (not including the 25% who will not make that into their careers). However, most students, do not like the idea of being tortured with the liberal arts requirements with one or two specialized classes which are already pre-determined by a scheduling rubric. There's nothing liberating about that type of liberal arts. More as in general studies, or until you fail and require a GED or McDonalds job.

One thing returning students to pre/post education can relate is that something that relates to the monetary costs, is the whole feel of back-2-school. They have to make slogans such as "Skool-is-Kool" and OMG, school is starting, I need my new outfits for the fall, because if I wear what I wore from last year, I won't be popular. Fuck, half the time I cannot even remember what I wore yesterday. I have to throw my clothes on the floor just to prevent myself from wearing the same article of clothing two days in a row. Not to mention, I don't think the fashion police is going to know the difference between your jeans being shade 242 of blue and shade 241 of blue; especially when shade 241 was so last year! My god, don't I feel gay. People forget that the essence of what looks cool is if it looks stylish on you; not on how popular it is. It is the same reason why certain people should never wear revealing clothing unless it attracts a specific demographic or why people who have terrible-looking/smelling feet/toenails should never wear open-toed sandals, unless they can change that problem.

In addition, when someone makes a big deal about back-2-school, they forget that life is a longtime learning process. That in the summer you can go take a specific class, and acquire additional knowledge to your brain. It just adds to the stereotype that not only you don't learn in the summer, you are purposely making yourself more dumber, and educators have to reaffirm that by making the back-2-school ideology start a month earlier per year.

As a college student, back-2-school doesn't mean much to me. I'm always in school (summer school, fall semester, winter-mini's, spring semester, etc.). You just get two weeks off as a break and then you start again. What any college student wishes is to get money for back-2-school, where we can spend it on necessities and then the outfit for the first keg party thrown in the student lawn and enough money left over for movie going, drinking and the bribe to the one professor to "do not fail me, just give me a C!" School is complicated. Then again the way I put it, I sound like some popular narcassitic person who antagonized you to the point where you have to shop to you drop, and parade like Back-2-School is a season-long national holiday.

Boy, I hate K-Mart.

Applies to Me

Bold the things that apply to you

01. I love being random.
02. I'm obsessed with making sure my shoes match my clothes.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a boy.
05. I love wearing dangly earrings.
06. I am a gemini.
07. I love someone more than they'll ever know.
08. I'm obsessed with dogs.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I can't live without music.
11. I lived in a different state in the U.S. before.
12. I get an allowance.
13. I want to be in high school forever.
14. I've seen Jason Mraz in person.
15. I get annoyed easily.
16. I eventually want kids.
17. I love to read.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I am addicted to the Disney Channel.
20. I am a girl.
21. I've been out of the country more than 3 times.
22. I'm in high school.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I like to swim.
26. My dreams are sometimes weird.
27. One of my best friends is gay.
28. I have way too many purses.
29. I've seen Fight Club at least 45 times.
30. I dress according to how I feel that day.
31. I've never fallen asleep during school.
32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
33. It bugs me sometimes when people are really late.
34. I procrastinate...sometimes.
35. I love autumn.
36. I have too many clothes..
37. I like to sleep.
38. I've never failed a class in high school.
39. I'm afraid of spiders.
40. I have nail polish on my fingernails or toe nails right now.
41. I've watched the O.C.
42. I love my hair.
43. I never fight with my parents.
44. I like the beach.
45. I have never had the chicken pox.
46. I'm excited for the future.
47. I have family out of state.
48. I can't wait till my birthday.
49. I love the show Wild Boyz.
50. I love my friends.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure sometimes.
53. I have never broken a bone.
54. I'm taking German class
55. I have a laptop.
56. I love guys that love music.
57. I state the obvious sometimes.
59. I dance randomly sometimes.
60. I'm a good singer (as long as no one else can hear me).
61. I sometimes like cleaning my room.
62. I never get jealous.
63. I love cute underwear.
64. I love doing math.
65. I cry when I see homeless people.
66. I like hugs.
67. I don't like to study for tests. (but then, I don't really have to)
68. Right now, school is more important than anything else. (Well, TAMS sure is)
69. I am too forgiving sometimes.
70. I have my own vehicle (that I can't legally drive, and that dosen't quite run)
71. I love high school
72. I have a lot of under garments.
73. I'm a daddy's girl.
74. I love kisses on the cheek.
75. I love the color pink more than the rest.
76. I love to sew.
77. I have blue eyes.
78. I like being a passenger in vehicles at nighttime.
79. I play soccer on a team.
80. I become stressed easily.
81. I've never lied.
82. I like comfy sweatpants.
83. Jake Gyllenhaal is cute. (only as Donnie Darko of course)
84. I love the smell of the rain.
85. I am right handed.
86. I hate getting shots.
87. I'm a perfectionist.
88. I've gone mooning.
89. I hate the feeling of failure.
90. I enjoy going to high school football games.
91. I like going on rides.
92. I can be quite shy.
93. I still act like a little kid sometimes.
94. There's something I will never forget, either because I can't or because I just don't want to.
95. I love looking at pictures.
96. I love music.
97. I do well in school.
98. I get a lot of mail.
99. I like hot tubs.
100. I like to be alone sometimes.

Layers

LAYER ONE:
--name: Akil Omari Chin El
--nicknames: Ace, Boy Blue, ...
--current Location: Far Rockaway, NY
LAYER TWO:
-- eye color: some shade of brown
-- hair color: black
-- height: 5'7"
-- righty or lefty: righty...i lost my ambidextrousness :-(
--zodiac sign: CANCER
--chinese year: boar
-- your heritage: last time i checked i had jamaican, chinese, brit.
-- the shoes worn today: probably Mizuno or Converse
-- your weakness: my munchkin :-D, Skittles and Sports
-- your fears: large bugs, spiders (not arachnaphobic), disheartenment
-- your perfect pizza: simple and exotic: extra cheese, pineapple and mushroom
-- goal you'd like to achieve: graduating sumday
* LAYER THREE:
-- your most overused phrase on AIM: "...iite" AND "iite"
-- your thoughts first waking up: "awww crap...5 more minutes mom! 5 more minutes!"
-- your bedtime: it floats more than characters from DragonBall-Z
--Chips Ahoy or Oreos: draw
-- Pepsi or coke: Rootbeer!
-- mcdonald's or burger king: sandwiches BK, everything else Mickey D's.
-- single or group dates: i suck at group dates...lol...iono...i've only been on one.
-- addidas or nike: addidas or mizuno
-- lipton ice tea or nestea: i'm still adding more sugar :-P
-- chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- cappuccino or coffee: coffee (with mad sugar!)

LAYER FIVE:
-- smoke: hellz no!!!
-- sing: **I PLEAD THE 5th**
-- shower everyday: yep yep
-- like(d) high school: yeah, HS was cool
-- want to get married: sumday...sooner or later? who knows.
-- believe in yourself: eventually
-- get motion sickness: once in a while, and it's like random.
-- think you're attractive: No, but I try. :-)
-- think you're a health freak: more than most people
-- get along with your parent(s): sometimes
-- like thunderstorms: only the light shows.
-- play an instrument: not really
LAYER SIX:
in the past month...
-- drank alcohol: nah...i'm sober
-- smoked: HELLZ NO!
-- done a drug: see above!
-- had sex: nope
-- made out: giggidy giggidy giggidy...alright :-D
-- gone on a date: yep!!!
-- gone to the mall?: nah
-- eaten an entire box of oreos: naa, haven't been OD'ing yet
-- been on stage: no
--been dumped: naa...
-- gone skating: naa....
-- made homemade cookies: i'm online more than i'm home
-- gone skinnydipping: No
-- dyed your hair: naa
-- stolen anything: fo sho! u stole my heart :-*...like i have urz ;-)
LAYER SEVEN:
Have you ever...
-- played a game that required removal of clothing: yeah, but i won.
-- if so, was it mixed company: yup yup
-- been trashed or extremely intoxicated: quite a couple of times
-- been caught "fooling around": oh yeah
-- been called a tease: nah...i get teased...and i like i like :-)
LAYER EIGHT:
-- age you hope to be married: ???no clue???
-- numbers and names of children: number:???would like to have boys and girls???names: :draws a huge blank:
-- describe your dream wedding: i ask for one thing warm, non-precipatory weather
-- how do you want to die: just not in flames, i can only assume that hurts. **reminds me of the lecture our psych professor was trying to tell us painful and painless ways to die**
-- what do you want to be when you grow up: some sort of researcher
-- what country would you most like to visit: a lot of places.
LAYER NINE:
in a guy/girl
-- best eye color? brown
-- best hair color? ????
--short or long hair? long hair
--height: not like gigantic tall or minature short
--best weight: not a stick and not a blimp
-- best articles of clothing: oh yeah, they have to wear clothing...j/k...something that fits the form of the body
-- best first date location: I'm not giving away that secret. I know the spot and only one other person knows.
LAYER TEN:
-- # of drugs taken illegally: alcohol (underage :-P)
-- # of people i could trust with my life: parents of course
--# of CDs that i own: a couple
--# of piercings: nada
-- # of tattoos: None...yet.
-- # of scars on my body: lost count
--# of things in my past that i regret: a lot of regrets, but i won't hate on them.
Last Person Who...
-- Slept in your bed? only me
--Last person who saw you cry: gosh...i really don't know
--Made you cry: too long ago
-- Spent the night at your house? nobody
-- You shared a drink with? Betty, Anne, Andrew (JudoDrew), John (JudoJohn)
-- You went to the movies with? my munchkin (was so nice...i went with her twice ;-))
-- You went to the mall with? me myself and i
-- Yelled at you? at me...meee! Who can yell at me!
-- Sent you an email? Professor Jim and Jashira (two separate e-mails)
Have Your Ever...
-- Said "I love you?" Yea
-- Been to New York? Me Live here
-- Been to Georgia? naa
-- California?Naa
-- Hawaii? Naa
-- Mexico? Naa
-- China? Naa
-- Canada? naa
-- Danced naked? in the shower/my bedroom.....
-- Dreamed something really crazy and then happened the next day? not really...that would be too weird.
The Last Few Questions...
-- Last time you went out of the state? in October to Pennslyvania
-- Lucky number? 99 (cues the theme music to "Wild Thing!")
-- Things you like in a guy/girl? u know the usual like boobies...lol, of course, there's a lot of other things too. too lazy to write ::sigh::
-- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yup yup
--What do you think of ouija board? indifferent
-- What book are you reading now? Blackholes, Wormholes and Time Machines
-- What's on your mouse pad? i lack thereof of one
-- Favorite board game? Monopoly
-- Favorite magazines? gosh, i haven't read magazines lately
-- Favorite sound? my munchkin ^_^
-- Worst feeling in the world? loneliness
-- Do you like scary or exciting roller coasters? they kool...but i'm always freakin' out over them (not really a good gag reflex afterwards)


-- How many rings before you answer? depends
-- Do you sleep with a stuffed animal(s)? nah...it's just me and my laptop
-- What are you going to do after you finish this survey? get so fresh and so clean clean clean then see my boo
-- What was the last food you ate? grilled cheese and pineapple slices

Blind

My happiness has been blinding what is true...things haven't changed. I'm still the same. Things are still the same. 3x 4 Seasons of Loneliness, except for me having a thing for my ex. The feelings between her and I is just friendship and I'm content there.

I caught myself lately staring out at windows, blindly staring ignoring the visual senses of my environment. I'm no longer hung up on someone, but more or less hung up on my feelings. My happiness is blinding from what's true, my anger a channeled rage that is more equipped with structure than just random self-craziness. My sadness, only evident in my eyes and my heart. Nobody is able to see it, because it appears that even to the psychologists, that it's blind to them.

It appears that I'm very good at hiding my feelings.

Loosened Up

I loosened up a lot, I think. I don't know if it's exactly true, but I'm just having a lot more fun lately at school and work, and not really giving about the consequences. If I get yelled at, I don't care. It's not worth it.

I'm just trying to find something out of myself that people say I don't have...an approachable personality.

I remember, I used to get uptight over specific things, like why didn't this work out this way and why certain things don't get done. I know there is a lot of pressure and expectations on myself for things to get done with perfect results, but if they don't get done at all, or if it shows that even with extreme amounts of effort, it's still not done properly, I might as well find some other way of getting it done, better. Kinda like the song by Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."

Some Poly women find me sexy. Meowwww! lol...j/k.

I'm gonna shave when I get home, get some sleep and then do laundry in the morning before I go to Poly. Apparently people have gifts for me.

I never knew I could be appreciated and loved in some sort of way. I thought I was this person, indicative and written into some specific label; however, I have positive labels that I didn't even know of.

Anyhow...I'll write something better. May be a dream analysis. Who knows?

.

...

I'm on silent treatment now.
I hate work. I'm fed up with it.
I need a career, not a job.
The Athletic Dept. is a job.

A Snowflake In Time

by Akil El

Transcendental illusiveness as fleece as white
No respite for those who get caught and lost in its might
Only drawn in by its fleecy white
And drowned by its captors as it swallows them whole
Regardless of day or night
It walks and swallows those who dare on whole
It captures your heart
mind, body and soul
Nevertheless, it leaves you wanting of previous years
we all used for that innocence that kept us all fearing and all wanting
So as you look outside, gaze and amaze at the fleecy white
Reminisce a part of your soul, of droplets falling up-to-down
and across your face throughout time.

Liars: The Whole Spiel

Ok, what the fuck is up with people being liars? AND even worse, "Why are people so offended, when you are called a liar?" The essential question is that we all are in some way going to hell, especially if we take religion to verbatum. C'mon, we all lie for various reasons: to protect us from being hurt, personal gain, keeping unnecessary truths away from others, personal gain...did I forget to mention personal gain! Anyhow, people who say and act all offended and out-of-sorts being liars, should consider this one thing: YOU ARE LYING.

In the Ten Commandments, Commandment 9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against my neighbor, sanctions against lying. Meanwhile, we all say things that are untruthful. Even stretching the truth by some fathom of the imagination, interprets a lie, thus constituting a violation against the "words of G-d." This may intail that if you don't directly understand the truth, you don't know the truth, and any conjecture against the "actual truth" is a lie. Albeit, I'm measuring against, Judiac rules and a measure to keep the holy words straight as a lie as possibly be, a lie is a lie.

So, today, after watching the guys basketball practice, I listen to a conversation that Chris and Josh was having, and Chris just says, your lying. Josh, goes...NOOOOOOOOO! I never lie!

(Bitch is lying out of his teeth.)

So, I say, "Josh, you are lying your ass off!"

And now the offense comes off.

After a couple of minutes of me just saying "Josh, you're lying your ass off!" He goes into a temper tantrum indicating that "I don't lie, I never lied. And I can't believe...blah blah blah." (Yeah, I stop listening.) At this point, I got the point. He was completely and utterly offended by my words. I'm not going to apologize, especially he knows that his omnipotence lol...j/k (me) is right. You are a liar, and we just proved it.

Anyhow, Josh's lying is small, and petty. He'll be fine.

Other liars; however, have proved to create disasterous results. Apparently, a couple of people from the baseball team that I went after to recruit (won't mention names here) tried to make themselves bigger than they truly are, with their over-inflated egos. And now, they won't be playing baseball for one reason or another. It's given the impression that the team is more in danger than what people have expected.

Thus lying is bad?

No. People try to make the truth in their own graven image. That's why they don't exclaim to lie; simply, they don't believe that they are. This may be delusional. And the treatment is to slowly learn harsh reality.

Anyhow...on other news:

• I lended out my "The Rose That Grew From Concrete" to John. Apparently he's bored at work and needs things to do. Apparently, before last week, I had no clue that John had an affluence for "Hip-Hop" literature. Heck, I need to read more/buy more books...so that I am not reading the same books, over and over for the five millionth time. He'll enjoy the poetic vibrations of Tupac Shakur.
• I'm a perfectionist. Unfortunately.
• I'm looking forward to baseball...sorta. The meeting with only 10 people showing up was very angrifying for me. Some excuses are valid, and others didn't make an effort to not show. But my bias is that I love baseball, so I guess my interpretation is swayed conservatively.
• I need minions
  
  Please make sure you join through this link: http://www.fallofnations.com/play.asp?uid=21996 AND if you want to join my guild, e-mail me @ akil.el@gmail.com.

That's it for now...Apparently, I'm not an angry black man. I just need some good, good lovin'.

I officially suck

I counted the words I spoke yesterday.
Total word count: 125.

These words included "Hi, Bye, See, Ya" includes "AND includes words: "And, If, Or and But"

I officially can't talk to women either...any woman. What a freaking waste of life I am. People like me should deserve word counts AND then get the clasp of the thumb and the index finger to shut up.

As much as I sound like I mean it...I'm exaggerating. I can't believe I ran out of words to talk to anybody. I can't believe I also remember what I said in every single conversation yesterday. Which really didn't amount to much, because I said so little, and smiled because I choked on what I really wanted to say! And this was to everybody: friends, family, everybody.

Hopefully, I can put up a real post that doesn't deal with bullshit like this. If you are reading this, I'm sorry for wasting your time. And for everyone: sorry men, but I was a complete waste of man yesterday.

...The 4-1-1

Here's what's going on:

Half of the time, I notice that I'm just dead-weight when everybody that I chill with is around so, I figured out that I need to get away from them for a while OR start saying stupid shit. Not for a cry of attention thing...but eh...just to say that I exist.

I hate my job. I know I need to get a new one because:

1. I get paid $6.50 an hour.
2. I'm one of a few that actually does work for Athletics. It makes the $6.50 for others a cake-walk.
3. The higher ups treat me like shit at times (especially when I've been doing this job longer than they have even been employed at Poly)
4. I ain't getting no where and I still need cash.
5. I need to do something with money. Not to see it vanish.

I'm thinking about taking Andrew's advice and just go to Admissions for a job. It means that hey, if I leave Athletics, Betty and Piotr will get more hours; if I land one of those roaming tour guide jobs, the hours are more flexible I heard. It means I have more of a shot to earn some cash at $10 per hour. I know it's capped at pretty much $400 per month, but I make $400 per 8 weeks at Athletics...$400 for 4 weeks is an definite improvement. If not, I probably will have to wait until baseball season ends in the beginning of May, and then pray to god Athletics gives me extra hours during Finals and Mini-sessions. Baseball season is going to take every single waking moment from me to actually work in the gym and the fitness center, and forget about working volleyball and basketball games.

Not to mention, I won't see most of my friends either. Since nobody goes to a Poly baseball games, except for some of the baseball players families (well, not mine for one), once baseball is in full gear, I won't see you all to May. Click Here for the Poly Baseball Schedule:

It also means this summer, I'm looking for a real job too. Something that pays $20.00 an hour, or the like. This means I must put up a resume that not only kicks ass, but says hire me, because I whore myself out to employers like that.

I was going to say something about my personal personal life...but I'll pass this time..I need to keep somethings with privy anyhow. Time for me to cook my own dinner and do things that I have to do...which I'll probably neglect anyway. Peace.

Life = Hell

"I hate my life."
"My life is a living hell."
"The people who know me, are just using me for their personal gain/glory/spite..."
"I can't get any."

Yeah, these are the words that people use all the time to incorporate their lives as being negative. They are always pessimistic, negative, and through their own attitude nothing goes their way. Not only they are the characteristics they exhibit, but these types of people while in their state of mind, scare the living crap out of me, because they are talking in extremes; almost depression-like. It's ok, for your life in a short time to be in a tailspin or not have things go your way, but it's not ok to make this your personal life agenda. There's "psychological disorders" and is one of the key symptoms of depression...even those in asymptomatic patients.

"So, what do these people need?"

Get some tail! If your married, spice up or life, or if your spouse is the source of the problems, then divorce that fucker. Do things that make you smile, and not go off into temper tantrum rants, and a complete utter apathetic way of loathing. Nobody is asking for you to accept your life as being one complete fuckbag who douches out the insides of his/her laptop, after getting it on to clearly illegal Asian Porn.

Stop making your life seem so depressing. Make a life changing plan. Go back to college, and may be not relive those days, but go and get a new degree in the field that you want. Even if it's from bumhole tech, which has very little accreditation; at least it is better than living in your 9-5 job, preaching the hells of what you call the doldrums of your life. People simply don't like those kinds of people all the time. They are grouches, kill the moods, even worse than people like I who make bad jokes, and then have to be threatened to be kicked out of parties.

I know this person from college, and he's a good person, very intelligent, heck he's got me beat as a better dresser, makes a lot more money than I do, has free-time to do projects, etc. and complains about his life that people do not meet the required needs to him. He blames this as the utter disappointment of the human race, because nobody can't relate to him; and although he does have a few friends, he's relatively lonely, and cuts himself off to communication. I think his claim is that "ALL PEOPLE ARE STUPID!"

Ok, a lot of times, I do feel that "My God, people are stupid too..." especially knowing myself and all the stupid things that comes out of our mouths at times. But, it doesn't give yourself to make it your ambition in life. Apparently, people say stupid things, and some are just flat out stupid, sorry, retarded! But, not everybody should be classified in this obvious misnoma. An individual carries facts of information, which when disseminated, can be turned from "true facts" to heresay and conjecture. So, no, all people aren't stupid, you are (a fuckin' moron).

Now, why do you have only a few friends, complain and be relatively lonely and have this method of life to be omnipotent. Nobody gives a flying fuck when your being omnipotent and a total drag on life; it only gives an individual to determine that this person is not managable and childly. Nobody wants to take care of a 4-year-old, unless you actually have children; and if the guy is old enough to be an adult, it gives no right to determine that a person is/should be a baby and then ask for friends and not be lonely. It's just clear and simple. People like to be treated like human beings, unless your from some fundamentalist country, or oppression is your sexual fetish.

One thing people need to notice is that your life being a living hell has a definite self-contribution part to the equation. If you influence your own demise in life, or you don't allow yourself to be fully prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly, the events, the feelings and the experiences one gets appears sarcastic. In other words, change your life for once, and stop being "A GLOOMY GUS."

This is my first blog entry here.

I'll be writing about more sophisticated things here...because at my old blogger at Xanga, very few people understand me. Plus, everybody can comment here. The whole eprop system, whack, because epropz don't do anything. So here I am.

"I am Buffy...Hear me ROAR!"

Yeah. Enjoy.