...

I'm on silent treatment now.
I hate work. I'm fed up with it.
I need a career, not a job.
The Athletic Dept. is a job.

A Snowflake In Time

by Akil El

Transcendental illusiveness as fleece as white
No respite for those who get caught and lost in its might
Only drawn in by its fleecy white
And drowned by its captors as it swallows them whole
Regardless of day or night
It walks and swallows those who dare on whole
It captures your heart
mind, body and soul
Nevertheless, it leaves you wanting of previous years
we all used for that innocence that kept us all fearing and all wanting
So as you look outside, gaze and amaze at the fleecy white
Reminisce a part of your soul, of droplets falling up-to-down
and across your face throughout time.

Liars: The Whole Spiel

Ok, what the fuck is up with people being liars? AND even worse, "Why are people so offended, when you are called a liar?" The essential question is that we all are in some way going to hell, especially if we take religion to verbatum. C'mon, we all lie for various reasons: to protect us from being hurt, personal gain, keeping unnecessary truths away from others, personal gain...did I forget to mention personal gain! Anyhow, people who say and act all offended and out-of-sorts being liars, should consider this one thing: YOU ARE LYING.

In the Ten Commandments, Commandment 9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against my neighbor, sanctions against lying. Meanwhile, we all say things that are untruthful. Even stretching the truth by some fathom of the imagination, interprets a lie, thus constituting a violation against the "words of G-d." This may intail that if you don't directly understand the truth, you don't know the truth, and any conjecture against the "actual truth" is a lie. Albeit, I'm measuring against, Judiac rules and a measure to keep the holy words straight as a lie as possibly be, a lie is a lie.

So, today, after watching the guys basketball practice, I listen to a conversation that Chris and Josh was having, and Chris just says, your lying. Josh, goes...NOOOOOOOOO! I never lie!

(Bitch is lying out of his teeth.)

So, I say, "Josh, you are lying your ass off!"

And now the offense comes off.

After a couple of minutes of me just saying "Josh, you're lying your ass off!" He goes into a temper tantrum indicating that "I don't lie, I never lied. And I can't believe...blah blah blah." (Yeah, I stop listening.) At this point, I got the point. He was completely and utterly offended by my words. I'm not going to apologize, especially he knows that his omnipotence lol...j/k (me) is right. You are a liar, and we just proved it.

Anyhow, Josh's lying is small, and petty. He'll be fine.

Other liars; however, have proved to create disasterous results. Apparently, a couple of people from the baseball team that I went after to recruit (won't mention names here) tried to make themselves bigger than they truly are, with their over-inflated egos. And now, they won't be playing baseball for one reason or another. It's given the impression that the team is more in danger than what people have expected.

Thus lying is bad?

No. People try to make the truth in their own graven image. That's why they don't exclaim to lie; simply, they don't believe that they are. This may be delusional. And the treatment is to slowly learn harsh reality.

Anyhow...on other news:

• I lended out my "The Rose That Grew From Concrete" to John. Apparently he's bored at work and needs things to do. Apparently, before last week, I had no clue that John had an affluence for "Hip-Hop" literature. Heck, I need to read more/buy more books...so that I am not reading the same books, over and over for the five millionth time. He'll enjoy the poetic vibrations of Tupac Shakur.
• I'm a perfectionist. Unfortunately.
• I'm looking forward to baseball...sorta. The meeting with only 10 people showing up was very angrifying for me. Some excuses are valid, and others didn't make an effort to not show. But my bias is that I love baseball, so I guess my interpretation is swayed conservatively.
• I need minions
  
  Please make sure you join through this link: http://www.fallofnations.com/play.asp?uid=21996 AND if you want to join my guild, e-mail me @ akil.el@gmail.com.

That's it for now...Apparently, I'm not an angry black man. I just need some good, good lovin'.

I officially suck

I counted the words I spoke yesterday.
Total word count: 125.

These words included "Hi, Bye, See, Ya" includes "AND includes words: "And, If, Or and But"

I officially can't talk to women either...any woman. What a freaking waste of life I am. People like me should deserve word counts AND then get the clasp of the thumb and the index finger to shut up.

As much as I sound like I mean it...I'm exaggerating. I can't believe I ran out of words to talk to anybody. I can't believe I also remember what I said in every single conversation yesterday. Which really didn't amount to much, because I said so little, and smiled because I choked on what I really wanted to say! And this was to everybody: friends, family, everybody.

Hopefully, I can put up a real post that doesn't deal with bullshit like this. If you are reading this, I'm sorry for wasting your time. And for everyone: sorry men, but I was a complete waste of man yesterday.

...The 4-1-1

Here's what's going on:

Half of the time, I notice that I'm just dead-weight when everybody that I chill with is around so, I figured out that I need to get away from them for a while OR start saying stupid shit. Not for a cry of attention thing...but eh...just to say that I exist.

I hate my job. I know I need to get a new one because:

1. I get paid $6.50 an hour.
2. I'm one of a few that actually does work for Athletics. It makes the $6.50 for others a cake-walk.
3. The higher ups treat me like shit at times (especially when I've been doing this job longer than they have even been employed at Poly)
4. I ain't getting no where and I still need cash.
5. I need to do something with money. Not to see it vanish.

I'm thinking about taking Andrew's advice and just go to Admissions for a job. It means that hey, if I leave Athletics, Betty and Piotr will get more hours; if I land one of those roaming tour guide jobs, the hours are more flexible I heard. It means I have more of a shot to earn some cash at $10 per hour. I know it's capped at pretty much $400 per month, but I make $400 per 8 weeks at Athletics...$400 for 4 weeks is an definite improvement. If not, I probably will have to wait until baseball season ends in the beginning of May, and then pray to god Athletics gives me extra hours during Finals and Mini-sessions. Baseball season is going to take every single waking moment from me to actually work in the gym and the fitness center, and forget about working volleyball and basketball games.

Not to mention, I won't see most of my friends either. Since nobody goes to a Poly baseball games, except for some of the baseball players families (well, not mine for one), once baseball is in full gear, I won't see you all to May. Click Here for the Poly Baseball Schedule:

It also means this summer, I'm looking for a real job too. Something that pays $20.00 an hour, or the like. This means I must put up a resume that not only kicks ass, but says hire me, because I whore myself out to employers like that.

I was going to say something about my personal personal life...but I'll pass this time..I need to keep somethings with privy anyhow. Time for me to cook my own dinner and do things that I have to do...which I'll probably neglect anyway. Peace.

Life = Hell

"I hate my life."
"My life is a living hell."
"The people who know me, are just using me for their personal gain/glory/spite..."
"I can't get any."

Yeah, these are the words that people use all the time to incorporate their lives as being negative. They are always pessimistic, negative, and through their own attitude nothing goes their way. Not only they are the characteristics they exhibit, but these types of people while in their state of mind, scare the living crap out of me, because they are talking in extremes; almost depression-like. It's ok, for your life in a short time to be in a tailspin or not have things go your way, but it's not ok to make this your personal life agenda. There's "psychological disorders" and is one of the key symptoms of depression...even those in asymptomatic patients.

"So, what do these people need?"

Get some tail! If your married, spice up or life, or if your spouse is the source of the problems, then divorce that fucker. Do things that make you smile, and not go off into temper tantrum rants, and a complete utter apathetic way of loathing. Nobody is asking for you to accept your life as being one complete fuckbag who douches out the insides of his/her laptop, after getting it on to clearly illegal Asian Porn.

Stop making your life seem so depressing. Make a life changing plan. Go back to college, and may be not relive those days, but go and get a new degree in the field that you want. Even if it's from bumhole tech, which has very little accreditation; at least it is better than living in your 9-5 job, preaching the hells of what you call the doldrums of your life. People simply don't like those kinds of people all the time. They are grouches, kill the moods, even worse than people like I who make bad jokes, and then have to be threatened to be kicked out of parties.

I know this person from college, and he's a good person, very intelligent, heck he's got me beat as a better dresser, makes a lot more money than I do, has free-time to do projects, etc. and complains about his life that people do not meet the required needs to him. He blames this as the utter disappointment of the human race, because nobody can't relate to him; and although he does have a few friends, he's relatively lonely, and cuts himself off to communication. I think his claim is that "ALL PEOPLE ARE STUPID!"

Ok, a lot of times, I do feel that "My God, people are stupid too..." especially knowing myself and all the stupid things that comes out of our mouths at times. But, it doesn't give yourself to make it your ambition in life. Apparently, people say stupid things, and some are just flat out stupid, sorry, retarded! But, not everybody should be classified in this obvious misnoma. An individual carries facts of information, which when disseminated, can be turned from "true facts" to heresay and conjecture. So, no, all people aren't stupid, you are (a fuckin' moron).

Now, why do you have only a few friends, complain and be relatively lonely and have this method of life to be omnipotent. Nobody gives a flying fuck when your being omnipotent and a total drag on life; it only gives an individual to determine that this person is not managable and childly. Nobody wants to take care of a 4-year-old, unless you actually have children; and if the guy is old enough to be an adult, it gives no right to determine that a person is/should be a baby and then ask for friends and not be lonely. It's just clear and simple. People like to be treated like human beings, unless your from some fundamentalist country, or oppression is your sexual fetish.

One thing people need to notice is that your life being a living hell has a definite self-contribution part to the equation. If you influence your own demise in life, or you don't allow yourself to be fully prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly, the events, the feelings and the experiences one gets appears sarcastic. In other words, change your life for once, and stop being "A GLOOMY GUS."

This is my first blog entry here.

I'll be writing about more sophisticated things here...because at my old blogger at Xanga, very few people understand me. Plus, everybody can comment here. The whole eprop system, whack, because epropz don't do anything. So here I am.

"I am Buffy...Hear me ROAR!"

Yeah. Enjoy.