Grown from Concrete: Job Thoughts

From the January 23 post:

le sigh.
change is often exciting. too much excitement is no good for us guys. we go limp easy. =\ lol

but yeah... i'm taking my time joining folks on the whole adulthood thing. we were officially deemed adults a year or so ago. it's fucked up.

ima take it slow after i finally finish poly.. work part-time for a while......the most important thing i realize now... is to not be lazy. can't afford to be as lazy as i am now. step 1, DON'T BE LAZY. step 2, keep moving forward... and the doubts/fears/insecurities tend to minimize and shovel emselves away.

- Posted 1/24/2006 at 9:38 AM by abed©

Taken to heart, I'm taking a job working with softball on February 1st. I'll keep your keys in mind Abed. I won't be lazy.

I decided to take thepath of starting from the real bottom. Meaning, I took a $7.00 per hour job (may be more) at the bookstore. I start on Monday. Granted if you remember that minimum wage is $6.75, I'm pretty close to there. After ranting and raving on the phone Wednesday on how life is unfair and crap, I decided that may be this is my place right now, and if not, for life. Apparently, I am of blame.

According to all my friends and parents, working for Athletics, nor my job at Beach Channel were not real jobs. It obviously not the real world, and no matter what I did, it was too unspecified. Henceforth, I didn't deserve to even be looked at. I think it was the idea that companies didn't see me working that kind of workstudy job to further better myself in that field; I was unqualified.

Yesterday, my mom was home early and first thing saw me was in bed, online. So, she started by first wanting to use my laptop to check her e-mail at work, then brought up the whole debacle of my future (something my dad brought to her attention). I think my mom was trying to be apologetic to my plight; meanwhile, it did not really do any good. I was listening to the same old same old again. Apparently the conversation ended with me realizing that I'm doing this until I land something better. But nobody actually believed in what I thought was true of me, that the jobs I had for Athletics meant something. Or at least I made it out to mean something.

That's the end of that crap.

Recommended Flash To Watch:

"Gong Xi Fa Cai" by daklewijd™